I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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