Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
