I feel like abortions should bother me more
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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