Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
