I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
