I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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