pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
