Non-Jews are for practice
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
