did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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