You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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