you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
