from now on my penis is your penis
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
