Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
