I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
