Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
