I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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