he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
