You're a womanizer and a bitch.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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