I cockslap morals
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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