So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Alive.
So much puke
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
