I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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