So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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