Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
