Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
