Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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