Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
