Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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