at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize