Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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