Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
