I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Randomize
