I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
