that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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