perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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