how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
