Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
