pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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