He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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