Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
