Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I didn't shave. On purpose
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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