The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
