Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
