Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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