i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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