That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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