Who wears a wallet chain?!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
