Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
