i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
