i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
