I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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