Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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