i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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