They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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