Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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