if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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