There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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