My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
