There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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