think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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