I met the friendliest cop last night
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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