I think I just saw someone hide a body.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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