oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
