Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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