we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
FUCK WHALES
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
