@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
