Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
