YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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