You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
