Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
